You Can't Always Get What You Want
by Cinnamon60
Summary: House MD, HouseCameron fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Ok guys, this is a House/Cameron fanfic and my very first try at writing one, so please be gentle with me, but all suggestions and comments are welcome.

**You Can't Always Get What You Want (House/Cameron)**

**Chapter 1**

It was late; House was sitting at his piano in his jeans and t-shirt, nursing his scotch and wracking his brain, trying to diagnose the latest case that was driving him crazy. But if truth be told that is not all he was thinking about. His mind drifted to Allison as it always did. He called her Cameron at work, but privately he always thought of her as Allison.

The doorbell rang, shaking him out of his reverie. "Who the fuck could that be at this hour?" he said to himself. He wasn't even going to bother answering, but it rang again and he thought he heard a faint female voice call his name. Was it Allison? Probably not, but his curiosity got the better of him. He hadn't called for a hooker, so he hoped it was her. He hobbled over to the door, looked through the peephole, sure enough, it was!

Cameron was on the other side of House's apartment door thinking this was a mistake. "Dear Lord, why am I here doing this?" She had finally gotten up the courage to tell House how she really felt about him. How she felt about him since the day he hired her. She tried to dismiss these feelings, but they hadn't gone away, in fact, they had just gotten stronger over time. She dated others, even had the tryst with Chase, but nothing helped! Standing here now, waiting for an answer at House's door, her courage was waning.

She turned to leave, but House yanked open the door. Not wanting to show his enthusiasm, he lied and said gruffly, "What are you doing here at this hour, don't you know I was in bed?"

"That's what I was hoping!" thought Allison, but of course she didn't say it. "I couldn't sleep, I was too worried." "You're always too worried" House grumped. "Is that what you woke me up for?"

"Well, can I come in?" "It's cold out here."

"Since you woke me the fck up, you may as well." Allison took no offence at his words, House was never known for his politeness. She would never understand why she was attracted to him, it was a mystery to her.

Still, she found herself entering his living room.

to be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It did not escape House that Allison looked great. She wore jeans with a red lace top under which he could see the outline of a red bra. He noticed how good she smelled as she walked past him. It looked to him like she was freshly showered as her hair was still damp and hung in curls around her face and shoulders. And that fragrance, did she know what L'Air du Temps did to him? Hope she didn't find that out from Stacy. Between that scent and how beautful Allison looked, House found himself getting excited.

In his mind House thought: Control yourself man, she's not one of the hookers. Do you really think she's here to fool around with you? You're almost old enough to be her father, for Christ's sake! Besides that, she had slept with Chase, _Mr. Pretty Boy_, I doubt you're her type.

But what about the looks that passed between them since he hired her?

The electricity he felt when her hand occasionally brushed against his? Didn't she feel that too? And what about that kiss? The look in her eyes as she came toward him, what did that say? Even though she kissed him on the premise of getting his blood, he _knew_ he felt more there than that! Could he be wrong?

In a way, though, _he_ was glad it stopped when it did, his primal urges were starting to take over when she pulled that damn needle! And if anything were to happen, he didn't want it to at work. Sure, she hated the way he treated people, she couldn't stand that he didn't care about the people he treated, that it was all about solving the puzzle of their illness to him. Much as he hated to admit it, sometimes he did care, but he'd never show it, not at work anyway. Especially when it involved sick kids, sometimes House had to be alone so others wouldn't see what that did to him.

Allison spoke, "Well are you just gonna let me stand here all night and ignore me?" Not ignoring you at all, House said to himself, if you only knew.

"Sorry," he said, lots of things on my mind, have a seat" gesturing to the sofa.

She knew him well enough to guess his thoughts were on the latest case at the hospital, he would never rest until it was solved. She didn't know that was not the half of it.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked before she sat down. He started towards the kitchen as Allison replied, "Ok, do you have any soda?" "Got diet Pepsi, how's that?" She saw him wince in pain so she walked into the kitchen, "Great, but let me get it, please sit down, House." As he made his way to the chair, Allison went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of the soda. Do you need a refill on your drink? she asked. "No, I'm fine", House muttered as he popped a vicodin.

She sat at one end of the sofa, House was almost at the chair but thought, "What the hell" and sat down next to her. Allison was secretly thrilled he sat this close to her and tried unsuccessfully to hide it. Her breath caught and she started to shiver.

to be continued...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"What's wrong, Ali…um, Cameron, are you still cold?" House asked. He reached for the blanket he kept on the sofa and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Um, no…but thanks for the blanket." She could smell his aftershave, as he put the blanket around her. God, he smelled good!

House had to admit; he had feelings for her that occupied almost every free waking moment he had and even his sleeping ones too. Allison was the subject of many erotic dreams, which usually ended with House waking up totally aroused. It wasn't just sexual though; he had many romantic dreams of her, seeing them in love, or married or with a child. He thought he had been pretty good at hiding his feelings towards her for 3 years. He was hesitant to get involved with someone from work, if the relationship didn't work out, it usually turned to sh!t making it really awkward to work together, usually ending with one person quitting or transferring so they didn't have to see each other again.

Even though he criticized Allison for her feelings, in truth, that's what made him love her. He couldn't forget the time he caught her crying when she was recalibrating the centrifuge, and her story about what happened to her husband and how she married him even though she knew he was dying. He realized then how good of a person she really was and his heart melted. He tried to be sympathetic and it scared him how close he had come to telling her then that he loved her. He actually admired the way she cared about the patients, and didn't keep her feelings hidden. Sometimes he wished he could be like that.

He thought that they complimented each other well at work, he for his ability to problem solve and she for her ability to talk to the patients and their families and comfort them, which he simply was not capable of doing. She could also get approval from families to agree to dangerous procedures (albeit life-saving ones) which, when he did it in his blunt way, usually failed.

Regaining her composure, Allison spoke, "House, House, didn't you hear what I said?" "What is your problem, you seem to be miles away!" "I've been talking about the case and you haven't heard a damn word!"

to be continued...


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

She wanted him to think their current case was why she came here and she _was _worried about it… but she knew that wasn't the main reason she came to see House. It had taken her three years to finally get up the nerve to tell House how she really felt about him. Allison was hoping House felt the same.

Despite how much of an a$$ he could be to everyone, including her, too many unspoken things had passed between them. And there were times when he wasn't being nasty that it seemed as if he really did care. As much as he tried to hide it, she caught snippets of caring feelings from him towards the patients and her.

She knew he thought he was really good at hiding it all under the snark. Haha to him! Maybe no one else could see under his emotional blanket, but she could! Apparently Cuddy, Chase and Foreman couldn't; they just thought he was an a$$ all the time. But Wilson...Wilson befriended House and took his abuse, so maybe Wilson could see under House's blanket too?

Bringing her back to reality, House said, "Sorry again, Cameron, like I said, lots on my mind." "The alcohol isn't helping either," he laughed.

"Yea, well maybe you shouldn't have had so much to drink."

House got a hurt look in his eye and said "You know why I drink, you know the fcking vicodin doesn't deaden all the pain, sometimes alcohol helps keep me from going insane." "All day long I rely on the vicodin, I think when I get home, I should be able to lessen my misery a little more." "I'm sorry, Allison mumbled, I understand."

Even though she knew he shouldn't be mixing painkillers with alcohol, she kept it to herself. She wasn't going to start preaching to him about the ails of alcohol and painkillers as this time of night. She didn't come here to fight with him. She was still sitting close enough to him to smell the alcohol off his breath, but that didn't outweigh how good he smelled otherwise. He smelled of the same scent she had noticed the day he hired her when she reached over and shook his hand. She couldn't put her finger on it, it was definitely something the younger guys didn't wear, but it certainly did something to her. It would always remind her of him, funny, she thought, how your mind will associate a scent with a certain person.

"So what were you saying about the case that I missed?" House asked her. She turned to him, looking in his eyes, "Well, I thought…" her voice trailed off and she had to look away. He still had no idea of the real purpose of her visit. But he was starting to think the case wasn't it because she certainly wasn't setting out her ideas forcefully like she did at work.

"Yea, you thought what?" House demanded. "Sh!t, that came out too cranky, he thought, I don't want her to leave." He wouldn't blame her if she wanted nothing to do with him in his current state or his everyday state for that matter. He wondered if he would ever be able to stop being so nasty, especially to her. House's inner dialogue said: "Damn it, man, do something nice if you ever want her to lov…he couldn't finish that word…like you." He was starting to think, with the way she was hesitating and looking away, something else was bothering her-him-he hoped. He bent forward resting his arms on his knees and tried a gentler approach towards her. He reached over, turning her face towards him. It was then he noticed her tears.

to be continued..


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

He looked in her eyes and softly asked her, "Wh…what's wrong, Cameron?" That's when the tears turned to a river, and he pulled her close and just held her. House stroked Allison's sweet, fragrant hair as her body shook and she cried and cried. He knew she needed a shoulder to cry on and hoped she would tell him what was wrong when she couldn't cry anymore.

He was pretty sure that tonight they were going to cross boundaries they never had before. He cared too much for her to push her away anymore.

Allison came here to tell him how she felt about him, and she _was_ _tired_, tired of feeling this way and tired of trying to hide it for so long. She was frustrated too because the longer she had kept it hidden the harder and harder it was to tell him. She should have told him long ago and just gotten it out of the way! I'm so stupid, she thought.

Even if he hadn't felt the same, hopefully she would have gotten over it. And if not, with her training and education she knew she would have no problem practicing elsewhere. The time she got high and seduced Chase was physically enjoyable, but he wasn't House.

She hoped when House had gotten got wind of it, he would be jealous. And he certainly seemed to be with all his snide comments about the two of them. She knew she and Chase had taken it too far when they got it on at work, especially when House caught them! It _was_ wrong to have sex at work.

She just didn't think House would report them. But when he _did_ tell Cuddy, if that didn't say pissed off and jealous, she didn't know what did! They could have gotten fired!

She had known Chase liked her for awhile, she was lonely and she had urges just like anyone else. And she hoped that fooling around with Chase would take her mind off House. It didn't work out that way. Try as she might, she just didn't have the feelings for Chase that she had for House. And then Chase started to fall in love with her. She was sorry she hurt him and had to tell him it was over.

She wanted to tell Chase the real reason she ended it with him…that she loved House…so Chase would leave her alone for good, but she didn't have the nerve. And the last thing she wanted was Chase spreading _that _around at work. If anyone was going to tell House, it had to be her. If Chase had told House, she had no doubt House would be a jerk about it. She could just hear House saying, "Yea sure, does she think I want _your _seconds?"

And that was another reason it was hard to tell House what she felt, because of the fling with Chase. She thought he would bring that up and reject her. Even though _he_ was no innocent, after all, he _was_ known to frequent hookers. But _he_ didn't scw them at work.

Through her tears she thought, "this is taking way too much out of me..cause here I am…blubbering like an idiot in front of House." He wants to know why I'm crying and I've finally gotten up the nerve to come here…so there's no going back now…I have to tell him.

She pulled away from him a little and started to wipe her eyes with her hands. House reached for the tissues on the coffee table and passed them to her. He caressed her hair and brushed it away from her face. House hated seeing her so sad, especially since he figured he was the cause of it. He spoke first, "I'm sorry I wasn't listening to you before and I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings, I know I can be a real jerk. I think I need to work on that… in the three years we've worked together, I know I've been an a$$ more times than enough."

"It's not just that, Allison said, I'm used to your demanding ways."

House sighed, he finally decided he was done hiding from her, and opened his heart..."I act that way because I don't want to be hurt, I've been hurt enough in my life. So treating people like sh!t gets them to leave me alone. I've been pushing people away for so long now that I had almost forgotten how not to."

"But Allison, what you don't know is…watching how you treat people, getting to know you and seeing how good and kind a person you really are…has changed me. And that's something I thought would never happen and something I've been trying to hide all this time." "I just can't have people at work thinking I'm all nice and cuddly. But..for you…his voice trailed off.

"House… Allison murmured…I have something to tell you too"…

to be continued...


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Allison was amazed that House told her she had changed him! And she noticed he called her Allison, something he had never done before. She had inklings sometimes that something had changed within him, but at work he tried not to show it. Even if she professed her love for him tonight or he for her, she didn't think House would ever let on at work. They were still sitting facing each other on the sofa, staring into each other's eyes.

House caressed her face, then leaned closely and kissed her forehead and eyelids. Allison moaned…"House…"Shhh, he said as he tenderly kissed her lips. Allison spoke quietly, "please let me tell you something I've been wanting to tell you too for a long time. You remember…damn…I'm not going to drag this out with all the things we've said and done…House, I've been feeling this way for a long time, to tell the truth since I first met you. And if you don't feel the same, I will be resigning from working for you." This was the risk she was taking, she knew if he didn't feel the same, she _could not_ continue to work with him, she just wouldn't be able to face him. Allison was looking directly into his beautiful baby blues searching them for what she was feeling…she was _sure_ it was there in his eyes too…but that didn't make it any easier for her... this is so damn hard, she thought.

She looked at the floor, House gently touched he chin and tilted it back up, he wanted to keep looking at her pretty face.…god, you are so beautiful, he softly said. Listening to him being so sweet and the look in his eyes, gave her the courage to finally say it…House….I **love** you…I've loved you since we met…but if you want to humiliate me and make me cry some more, just let me leave." No…no…no…Allison, he whispered…"come here, baby, come here"… he said as he pulled her close until their lips met again. His arms encircled her waist as her arms slid easily around his neck, hearing her say she loved him had made him weak. He held on to her and they kissed deeply, Allison parted her lips, as his tongue entered, shivers went up her spine. They seemed to fit together so perfectly and she never thought House could be so gentle.

As they came up for air, Allison was thinking how she didn't want this moment to end or ever let go. House didn't want it to end either. Yes, he would have liked nothing better than some wild, animal sex but this was Allison, not one of the hookers. He had no doubt that it could be wild with her, but he knew she wasn't ready for that yet. She wondered if House was just looking for sex, but it didn't sound like it when he spoke…"Allison, I said you changed me and that I thought it would never happen. I told you why…from watching you…getting to know you…and if you don't know by now…. yes I've dreamt of you too all this time…. And he knew he had to say, "Allison, whatever we say or do tonight and in the future has to stay between us, ok? We can't carry on at work; the last thing I want is Chase, Foreman and Cuddy thinking I've changed and become nice. Or having that bunch, including Wilson, making kissy-faces about us. We have to stay professional at work. He said this more as protection for her and him against office gossip and in case things didn't work out. "Is that ok with you, Allison?" She thought about that and nodded.

This was still the hardest thing he had ever done, yes he loved Allison, but to actually say the words…he didn't want to get hurt again. But she had come here tonight and bared her soul to him and he saw how hard that was for her to do. She had kept it to herself for as long as he had.

He hugged her close again as he asked "Can you promise me something, Allison?" He hesitated…What do you want me to promise?" Allison asked. "Can you promise you won't hurt me?" The way she loved him she didn't think she could ever hurt him…but could he promise the same? "Can you promise me the same?" she asked him. Being pretty sure she was going to be the love of his life, he said, "Yes…my angel…Allison." "I could never hurt you, Greg." House sighed, hearing her say his name, it sounded so sweet coming from her…. He nestled his head into her shoulder and whispered…Allison…I love you…more than I've ever loved anyone in my life and it scares the hell out of me."

to be continued...


End file.
